Broken Jesus, thief of hearts

My kids are just a gaping wound in my life. I love them more than my own life like any father does, clearly not very well, but none of us are really up to the task, we're all imperfect parents and our only real purpose is to point our kids towards their perfect heavenly father. But it still hurts.

But as any good mother hen knows, when your chicks become a pain in the ass, it's time to stop sitting on them, cos it means they're hatching...

Then you have to run yourself ragged fetching food for them while they just sit there squawking at you, being demanding getting fatter and more demanding!

Then they finally get too fat, they totter out of the nest and fall out and hopefully learn to fly on the way down, then they're off and your job is done.

Hopefully as a human parent you'll still hear from them, normally when they need money lol!

Didn't we all do this to our own parents?! And maybe this is what we do to our heavenly father?

Am I bitter towards Rachel?  It's still an open wound. I'm frustrated that she won't allow any communication between us when we should be communicating regarding the welfare of our children. I'm completely shut out from my children's lives - I've almost never seen their school reports despite having visited their school and spoken to the head about my rights as a parent.

All I can do is take my pain and anger and bitterness to God, as David did.  I clearly need to do better at letting go of it all.

Recently I've found myself questioning God's faithfulness and goodness given all I've been going through.

A revelation this morning at 6am prayer helped me.

It's not just when Jesus came to earth as a man that he became like us. He came to earth as a sinless, perfect man. None of us are sinless and perfect. I can't identify with a sinless, perfect, whole, unblemished man.

No, he became like us when he became sin for us. When he was broken, bruised, turned into a bloody mess for us, like us. Hung on a cross outside the city for us, an outcast, dying a criminal's death for us.

That's the Jesus I can relate to, bleeding in my own ditch having fallen amongst thieves. Jesus died between 2 thieves, he identified as a thief, even though he never stole anything.
Except our hearts.

He took our hearts of stone and gave us hearts of flesh. His own heart.  He gives is his own body, his own flesh, to eat, to sustain us, to regenerate us as any food we eat does, nourishing every cell in our bodies.

Ezekiel 36:26 NIV
[26] I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. 

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